Fashion Should Be Sluttier

There’s a beautiful diversity to the lives and experiences of crafters that is reflected in the projects they choose to make. One of the most exciting aspects of selling yarn is seeing all of the different ways people will combine the same colors. These little glimpses of another person’s thoughts and ideas brought to life create so many unique and unexpected moments of connection and understanding. At a pop-up market the other day, my coworker referred to “Old Growth” as my “signature color”. Two other people announced that it was their favorite color as well. I felt seen and understood, and excited to have a shared love with other people in the room. Old Growth is the color that started this whole adventure for me, and it’s a color I’ve always wanted to bring to life for myself. To know that I’ve worn it often enough that others associate it with me gives me a feeling of having grown into myself; I feel as if I have spent enough time knowing and loving and caring for myself that I can dress myself in a way that celebrates who I am and shares that with the world. 

This hasn’t always been the case. My biggest cause of being late has historically been a struggle to feel like myself when getting dressed. After more closet declutters than one could reasonably admit to, a vintage shopping kick that served me well for years before I transitioned into my current form, and a brief attempt at ~dopamine dressing~ that didn’t honor my color palette, I have enjoyed this past year of settling into myself. It hasn’t been easy, and there’s been a lot of frogging and gifted knits originally meant for myself along the way. But I think that I have finally unlocked the secret to feeling like myself when I look in the mirror- dressing as the sluttiest version of myself.

Now, given that the social usage of the word “slut” differs from the official definition, I suppose I should start with an explanation. What does it mean to be a slut? We haven’t seemed to reach a historical or world-wide consensus. In Medieval Arles, France it was considered slutty to not cover your head, and you were forbidden from doing so if you were a sex worker. This is in stark contrast to the laws of Paris, France today, where women are forbidden from wearing hijabs in theaters. Likewise, there was a 1968 riot in Dar es Salaam that attacked women for wearing skirts and tight pants; these are the height of fashion not even 100 years later.

If the metric for “sluttiness” is always changing, it obviously isn’t about any one specific fashion trend or element of appearance. It seems to be at least somewhat about the beholder’s projected thoughts and feelings about a person. There is no way to tell how many sexual partners a person has had, no matter how high their skirts are, how see-through their shirt, or how often they wear leggings as pants. In the absence of a number hovering over our heads, we are forced to judge each other based upon the impressions we form through interaction. I argue then that judgements of morality and accusations of perceived “sluttiness” based upon an individual’s fashion choices are a reaction to perceived free or “promiscuous” self expression. If “sluttiness” is sexual promiscuity, then making fashion “sluttier” means personalizing it and celebrating individual fashion choices free from shame.

While this may seem like a lot of thought for the clothes we put on each day, our fashion choices are indeed an important representation of ourselves and our beliefs. There are the obvious examples; 13 curls worn in the colonies during the American Revolution or the discomfort-inducing red MAGA hat still occasionally seen today. But less obviously, there’s people who are and are not aware of the debate over acrylic yarns and whether or not to use superwash wool. Without thought about your clothing choices, you are participating in a global textiles system while giving up your control in the process. And beyond these oppressive and rather distant-seeming political concerns, there is of course the social aspect of fashion. Humans are social creatures, and we make judgements based upon things that we experience- sight being the first aspect of interaction for a large percentage of us. So with this in mind, how can we define fashion for ourselves? In a sociological context, fashion is, “an unplanned process of recurrent change against a backdrop of order in the public realm”. It is a selection process in which free agents, or us as the consumers, adopt and change through use the objects of dress put forth to us, with influence from our peers, marketing, and current political climate. It doesn’t matter if we’re active participants in our fashion choices, or if we allow them to happen to us; the social and political influences will still exist.

Obligatory "Devil Wears Prada" clip as evidence of my point.

Take, for example, the famous slip dresses worn by Princess Diana and Kate Moss in the late ‘90s; these each caused a stir, have appeared in countless magazines and retrospectives, and have been endlessly replicated and updated throughout the years. Please note that the last link contains dresses for sale at the end of the article, so don’t click on it if you wish to avoid that, but it does sort of prove my point.

The scandal of the slip dress has lessened, and many people today are unaware of the original scandal the slip dress caused. Still, its initial virality and subsequent entry into mainstream view has caused it to become a closet staple for many. It has been used as a standalone item and a layering piece. Dressed down with sneakers, thrown over t-shirts, worn out on dates, and even a popular wedding dress style; once a statement of liberation, the slip dress has entered become a more muted statement of comfort, freedom, and sex appeal. It is important to note that it is not promiscuous to appreciate yourself or to like the way your figure looks in a fitted dress or a drapey fabric. But regularly wearing that as a style does share that bit of yourself with others, and allow them to get to know these pieces of your personality over time. It allows you to stand confidently in public and think about what’s in front of you rather than what you are wearing. It allows family and friends to associate you with a thing you like; to be known for your true preferences and your feelings.

And it doesn’t stop with slip dresses. Concert tees, fandom memorabilia, dopamine dressing, high femme style, goth, emo, punk, e-girl, whatever the style may be, these are all personal expressions of self or attempts to fit in. Maybe we want to be seen as attractive, maybe we want to represent our beliefs or politics, maybe we’re just making decisions based on marketing and social influence without being aware of it. But imagine the freedom that comes from wearing items simply make us feel like ourselves. That is the supposed goal of hand-making, after all- to make something personal. 

So how do we start making these slutty, slutty fashion choices that will reveal us to our peers and help us make all of those scandalous intimate friendships and close connections"? Well, we can start by giving ourselves the grace to try things out and get things wrong. Especially with crafting, it can be hard to try something we’re excited about and not have it turn out. But there is no way to know what you like without starting to try some things out, so do it! Figure out what colors you love, what clothes make you feel comfortable- necklines, hemlines, styles, fabrics, and go from there. Be attractive if that’s what you want, but also be yourself. Keep experimenting until you look in the mirror and recognize the person that you see. For me, that’s meant practicing honesty with myself, and admitting I will not wear a boatneck. I love green, purple, and black above all other clothing options. I hate trying to figure out how to wear pale grey.

But exploration alone isn’t enough; you will also have to learn to ignore outside influences that don’t serve you through trial and error. The “What’s Hot” section on Ravelry is great if you know what you like; if not, you might be about to waste 35+ hours on a sweater that you hate on yourself because it’s currently trending. Asking yourself what you’d like to wear something with and being mindful of whether you’re picturing it on yourself or picturing it on yourself as others will see it is a great first step. Once you start, it becomes very easy to remind yourself of what you like, and to distinguish what you’re excited to try from what you’re scared to miss out on. Pay attention to your feelings, and ignore the part of you that’s afraid of judgement- this allows you to set yourself free from people who don’t give you the space to be yourself, and devote your time and energy to people who won’t judge you for the clothes that you wear. Chances are, you’ve already found them. People are in your life because they want to know you, and dressing for yourself gives them subtle visual cues as to who you are.

When scrolling through photos from dates and experiences to get some family photos printed, I realized that my wedding dress is the same sort of style as the dresses I liked myself best in from the photos. Each of the nights pictured was a night I had felt beautiful, effortless, and like myself. I felt a rush of excitement that I had made such a personalized and right decision for myself for my wedding dress. In the shop I had worried that I wouldn’t make the right choice, that it wouldn’t be right for the day or wouldn’t look bridal enough for others. But in the end, I am proud that in the shop photo I look happy and like I see myself in my mind. I get the same rush when I come home and cast on a project, only to find it’s almost exactly the same color as the item I’m already wearing- I know that I have chosen something that honors my joy. And that is the best gift I can give myself.

I am still influenced regularly by the things around me. I work in a yarn shop, after all, and I sell my own products, give pattern recommendations, and advertise on Instagram- I will forever be surrounded by millions of completed projects that people look adorable in. The FOMO is always going to be so, so real. But by learning to celebrate a person looking good in a project they’ve completed as a thing to love about them rather than a thing I also need for myself, I am better able to focus on what I appreciate about others and what I appreciate about and for myself. And that, my friends, is the ultimate expression of freedom and personal sluttiness.